August 29, 2014

December 1994 - Something Entirely Different

From William H. Ibbotson of Austin (assistant federal public defender), an excerpt from a civil deposition - which was preceded by the return of a subpoena duces tecum stating:

Served on residence of Patricia Denny ... at home address as stated by former employer. In driveway was a mid-80s Cadillac Seville. Sounds heard inside home but no one would answer door - after 20 minutes subpoena left in flower pot outside/beside front door about 7:56 a.m. (1-14-92.)

Then, in the resulting civil deposition of Patricia Denny, several mysteries are quickly explained.

Q. Ms. Denny, I believe you have had an opportunity to review what has been marked as Denny Exhibit Nos. one, two, and three. Would you briefly, for the record, state what those three documents are?

A. Okay. This is the deposition subpoena - it's number one - that was delivered to my rose bush.

Def. Attorney: Delivered to your rose bush?

A. To my rose bush. It states here that there was a Cadillac outside. That's true. It doesn't work. The only ones home were two cats.

August 26, 2014

January 1996 - East Texas Slang

From Raymond W. Cozby, III of Tyler (Cowles & Thompson), this closing argument made by his brother, Andrew J. Cozby, the prosecutor in a criminal trial in Houston:

Mr. Cozby: Members of the jury, I appreciate your patience during this trial. I'm going to be talking quick because my time is limited. If you can follow this East Texas slang I appreciate it because I'm going to be going over some important points.

Number One: What we call in East Texas — if you've ever seen a dog chasing a rabbit, sometimes they will get off on some rabbit's trail. That's a false trail that leads off in a circle. And a dog will get off on a false trail from where the rabbit really is.

Defense Attorney: Your Honor, I object to being called a dog.

Mr. Cozby: Your Honor, I except to that, I was calling him a rabbit.

August 25, 2014

April 1989 - Did I Really Hear That?

From Robinson C. Ramsey of Wharton, this excerpt from a deposition in a divorce case; Rob is questioning the husband about a family estate trust that wenty awry."

Q. When did you find out it was not the right thing to do?

A. When I wound up in jail.

Q. When was that?

A. I don't really remember when that was, I don't remember.

Q. Do you remember approximately how long it was from the time you initially set up the trusts?

A. I don't know if that was a couple of years after that, or I really don't remember when that was.

Q. What were the circumstances that led to your winding up in jail?

A. It was - we were trying to, for lack of better words, hide income. In other words - and in doing that, we got audited ... It started when we got audited, and then the IRS agent that came to the house.

August 22, 2014

June 1987 - Did I Really Ask That?

Court Jesters records this question asked by a lawyer: "what colour were the blue jeans?" As well as the lawyer who single-handedly (or mouthily) asked these immortal questions:

Q. How long have you known your brother?
Q. Were you alone or by yourself?
Q. How long have you been a French Canadian?

August 21, 2014

April 1989 - Did I Really Hear That?

From Robinson C. Ramsey of Wharton, this excerpt from a deposition in a divorce case; Rob is questioning the husband about a family estate trust that wenty awry."

Q. When did you find out it was not the right thing to do?

A. When I wound up in jail.

Q. When was that?

A. I don't really remember when that was, I don't remember.

Q. Do you remember approximately how long it was from the time you initially set up the trusts?

A. I don't know if that was a couple of years after that, or I really don't remember when that was.

Q. What were the circumstances that led to your winding up in jail?

A. It was - we were trying to, for lack of better words, hide income. In other words - and in doing that, we got audited ... It started when we got audited, and then the IRS agent that came to the house.