October 24, 2014

February 1999 - Did They Really Say That?

From Hector L. Rodriguez of McAllan (Rodriguez, Pruneda, etc.), this excerpt from his deposition of the third party defendant in a personal injury auto accident case. Hector has just asked "the deponent whether or not he had a chance to look at the accident report in preparation for his deposition," and then ...

A. Yes ... I glanced at the paperwork [but] I didn't have a chance to really look at the accident report. I'm very busy, you know, at work that I really didn't have a chance to do that, I did get to see it when I went to the restroom. I normally read when I go to the restroom, so that's - you know, I go in there like three minutes and I'm out, so - and -

Mr. Barry Ray: Remember I told you about that stuff, not to volunteer information?

A. But right now I -

Q. That's more information [than] I wanted to know, but -

October 23, 2014

May 1992 - A Prepared Witness

From Stephan C. Barth of Houston (University of Houston), this excerpt from the deposition of his client, the debtor in a collection case, which was being taken by the attorney for the plaintiff bank:

Q. You in fact received the $250,000 loan from the bank.

A. Yes.

Q. And how did you spend that money?

A. Quickly!

October 22, 2014

November 1990 - Don't Tell Anyone About This

From Steven C. Copenhaver of Austin (Davis v. Davis), this deposition excerpt from a probate case "in which my client, a private charitable organization, was alleging that a sizeable sum of money was supposed to be bequeathed" to it "instead of another organization with a similar name." Steve was deposing a friend of the deceased (the witness was represented by David F. Beale of Houston).

Q. Have you had an opportunity to talk with your attorney concerning what a deposition is?

A. Yes sir, he told me what a deposition was.

Q. I'm sure your attorney has instructed you to answer the question I ask.

A. Yes, sir. Did he tell you I'm incompetent?

Q. No he didn't tell me that.

A. Well, I am.

Q. What makes you say that?

A. The doctor says that. I don't get my money. My wife gets the money. She's my guardian.

Q. Have you understood every thing you and I have talked about up to this point in time?

A. You told me your name, but I forgot it.

Q. Have you understood everything I've said so far?

A. You ain't talked much.

Q. Do you remember having a conversation with me?

A. This is the first time I've met you, right here.

Q. I mean over the phone.

A. I talked to somebody on the phone. I don't know who it was because I couldn't see through the phone.

Q. Good point. Do you remember hanging up on the telephone conversation?

A. Yes sir. Some guy called, and I didn't, you know, want to talk to him so I hung up.

Q. Do you know why you hung up?

A. We finished our conversation.

October 21, 2014

October 2006 - The Notice of Appeal

This marvelous contribution is from Owen M. Goudelocke of Lafayette, La., who received it from Jerry Perlman, an office chief in the litigation division of the Louisiana Department of Justice in Shreveport, La.

Notice of Appeal

I hereby am informing you that I am appealing the asshole Ronald B. Leighton's decision in this matter.

You have been hereby served notice. You're not getting away with this **** that easy.

Signed this 10th day of July, 2006.

Plaintiff, Pro Se

October 20, 2014

May 1985 - Tell Me About Your Family

Q. Has your son ever received a prior injury?

A. Well, when he was three he fell and broke his arm, that's all. Oh, yes, when he was two he got plowed under by a tractor and we didn't find him for twenty minutes.