October 21, 2014

October 2006 - The Notice of Appeal

This marvelous contribution is from Owen M. Goudelocke of Lafayette, La., who received it from Jerry Perlman, an office chief in the litigation division of the Louisiana Department of Justice in Shreveport, La.

Notice of Appeal

I hereby am informing you that I am appealing the asshole Ronald B. Leighton's decision in this matter.

You have been hereby served notice. You're not getting away with this **** that easy.

Signed this 10th day of July, 2006.

Plaintiff, Pro Se

October 20, 2014

May 1985 - Tell Me About Your Family

Q. Has your son ever received a prior injury?

A. Well, when he was three he fell and broke his arm, that's all. Oh, yes, when he was two he got plowed under by a tractor and we didn't find him for twenty minutes.

October 16, 2014

June 1990 - I'm Glad We Cleared That Up - Trials

Rodney M. Phelps of Richardson sent me the following from the husband's testimony in the trial of a divorce case in Harris County.

Q. Now, as you understand it, your children's intentions are to attend school in Texas; is that correct?

A. I think it's my daughter's intention to attend school in Texas if my wife does move to Texas.

Q. You at one time lived in Texas; the last time you lived in Texas was in 1973?

A. That's correct.

Q. Since that time you have been a resident of Panama as well as Germany and various other countries?

A. And Arkansas as well.

Q. And you're telling this court that you have no intention of -

COURT: Certainly can't leave out a foreign country like Arkansas.

October 15, 2014

July 2003 - Just Do It

From Richard E. "Ted" Hanson of Wichita Falls (Oldham, Hanson & Florendine). Mr. Hanson writes, "in a claim file I received from an insurance company operating in New York City, I found what I think is the most interesting pre-suit negotiating techniques I have seen employed by Plaintiff's counsel. Unfortunately, the Plaintiff's objective was not reached.

By Fax on 07/13/00:

Surely you have the authority to settle this small claim. Please give me a call at your earliest convenience so that we can get this off our desks. Communicate please before we melt down here in Wichita Falls. The heat index is at this moment 120!

Thank you,

October 14, 2014

April 2008 - Justice in Rusk County

This marvelous!!! contribution is from Justice Bailey C. Moseley of Texarkana (Court of Appeals, 6th Appellate Dis-trict), who writes:

“A number of years ago, I was engaged in a jury trial in Rusk County, representing the defendants in a trespass to try title case in which the plaintiffs were claiming ownership by adverse pos-session. The plaintiffs had a woman who lived nearby testify about the supposed long and continued use of the property by the plaintiffs. “On cross-examination, I wanted to establish that the witness did not fully understand which piece of land was really in controversy, so I began to question her about its location.

Q. What direction is this property from your house?

A. Well, I am not too good at telling directions.

Q. Okay, let’s talk about it in ways that can help this jury under-stand. Say that it is just at dawn and you step out onto your front porch. You see the sun coming up. From what direction is it rising?

A. I think it is coming up in the North.

Judge Moseley adds: “The jury broke up laughing, but the witness never seemed to understand what she’d said to make them laugh.”